The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
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