is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
