I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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