Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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