I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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