Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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