my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
