sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
