I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
this must be what syphilis tastes like
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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