I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
