worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
