But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
