we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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