You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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