so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
