some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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