i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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