she woke up with a sticky ear
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize
