So drunk its hurt
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
