I'll bet she douches with gravy.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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