she looked like the before picture.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
