They should really pass out barf bags in church
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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