Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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