she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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