LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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