Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
