Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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