no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
