I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
