she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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