Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
