The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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