Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
