Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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