I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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