Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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