TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
