I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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