Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
