i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
