see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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