I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
