There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
