I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
