she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
