i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
