Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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