Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
