just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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