I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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